Yes, I feel like I am going mad! I know that I am doing two heart pre-op teachings on Thursday and I'm super nervous! I don't know why I'm nervous. It could just be because heart pre-ops are the biggest pre-ops to do! They say if you can do a heart pre-op that you can do any! Well, I hope that's true because I'm about to pee my pants waiting for this to be over! And...I have 2! But...I will be so excited when I'm actually doing pre-ops and medical play and all the fun work that goes with being a child life specialist! Why do we get so nervous about good things? I understand getting nervous before a big test, or getting a shot or blood drawn, or having a meeting with your head boss...but why the good things? It's all just a sense of failure and I hate that! I hate that we set ourselves up to fail! I know that I'm prepared, I know that I've prayed my little heart out, and I know that if I mess up (and I will) that it will be ok.
Also part to the maddening (even a word?!) is I'm sick on top of everything! Blah! I hate being sick! It's all in my head, specifically my nose! Last night, I felt like I was standing on a waterbed because everything was moving (dizzy) and my legs and feet were numb. Not normal symptoms, I know. It's gone now and let's pray it doesn't come back!
I'm pretty out of it due to meds, so I'll have to write a better blog next time! Hope these aren't getting too boring for you! I'll spice them up starting with the next one! "Oh no, what's Heather going to do?!" Don't worry, I don't even know yet! I just feel a little bore coming on!
Have a fabulous day and may God bless you in every way!
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