"Let me quote you from your own blog..."

That's humbling!

For those of you that don't know already, and that's probably none of you, I finally heard from Vanderbilt. The director gave it to someone else. She said, " I have to tell you, Heather; this was one of the hardest choices I have made in a long time. I hope that you will keep us in mind as an employer as opportunities arise in the future. I know that you will be an asset to any organization to which you go." She was very polite, sweet, and kind. I got the news on Tuesday and I'm starting to become ok with it today. I pretty much cried and went into depression on Tuesday and most of Wednesday. That was until I was quoted by my own blog to me as advice. 

Apparently, I've talked a lot lately about God and how amazing He is. Ok...so maybe this wasn't coincidence...maybe it was God preparing me all along...silly me! Quoting someone who knows me pretty well and someone that I've talked with for about a million hours (probably quite literally), God has been so amazing in my life. He has better plans than I ever have. He has taken care of me my entire life...why stop now?! If I really take the time to stop and look at all the blessings in my life...why would I think He doesn't have something better for me in my future now? Would He really bring me this far just to drop me?!

I don't want to sound like I'm contradicting myself and my latest blogs. I do believe that God is in control. I do believe He loves me and I don't deserve it. I do believe and have faith in Him and His love and power. So is it bad to struggle with it right now?

I have been getting pretty down on myself because of all of this. I've started to doubt me and my abilities. While I'm still doubting and not dealing as well with this as I thought I would, I am trying to let go and let God!