Have you ever thought how amazing it would be to just have the whole world .:PAUSE:. for x amount of time so that you can .:PAUSE:. for x amount of time? I do. And have a lot here recently.
This week has flown by! I can't believe it! This was my week:Wake up. Go to work. Leave work (most nights not on time). Go to next destination (while doing make-up in the car). Activity of the night. Go home. Pass out!
While I love having a social life, planning a wedding, working, renovating a house (sorta), and trying to be a fiance/daughter/sister/friend/etc...I'm dying! I realized that I spent 40 minutes with Matthew ALONE on Friday night and I hadn't done that in so long that I can't even remember the last time we've done that. And we're not even married with kids yet! I also have had no time for me. I've been very grumpy lately and I believe that is the reason.
I just can't find a good balance. I feel like every time I have nothing to do, I need to fill it with
something. Whether its wedding or spending time with family/friends that I've neglected. I've said over and over that my family and friends mean everything to me. I would easily give of myself for them. And that means giving of a night just to simply be to hang out with them. While I don't regret it at all, I just feel like I've given all of me away and there's nothing left! There's a saying: BUSY = Being Under Satan's Yoke. Its like he just gets me so busy and/or makes me think I have to be so busy, and it takes away from what I really do need to be doing. Jesus, himself, sought time to be alone.I think we all deserve a little down time. I also believe that our bodies/minds yell at us to get that time. For me, I start to get very grumpy and angry often. I stop seeing the good in people and situations. If you are nodding while reading, go ahead a say AMEN!
This is probably the craziest blog I've ever written. And for that, I apologize!
When you see a problem, you fix it. Well, this isn't really a problem...I just need better time management. I've gotten myself on a budget here recently. I love it! I did it to live in AR with NO INCOME for 4 months and I miss it! (Plus I had to buy 4 new tires that are low-profile and for a SUV.) So, why can't I budget in for time as well? Here we go, my new invention: The Time Budget.
Tomorrow I'm budgeting time either alone or alone with my incredibly understanding, patient, kind, and utterly compassionate fiance!
P.S. Just to be clear: I love my fiance, family, friends deeply. I do not regret ANY time spent with them. I also love planning my wedding and renovating a house. I don't regret it in the slightest! I just need a .:PAUSE:.
4 comments:
I totally remember what those days were like. But don't worry, once you're married, things should start slowing down a bit :-) And congrats by the way!
Oh, Sister, do I ever know what you mean... Brad and I keep ourselves so busy that about once a month we just break down. We're trying to impliment a "bedtime" (which is realy a be-home-by-midnight time) to help alleviate some of that. But I totally understand about the social life interrupting your sanity. Even though everything that you do is great, and good, and fun, and (mostly) optional. But, just think, when you're married, at least you get to sleep in Matthew's arms and eat up that time together... *sigh*
Gosh Heather- we already talked about this but I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND!!!
agreed! 100%!
Once the mind takes control and starts to go, it's hard to slow it down. When I experience times like that, I just evaluate the situation and scratch the things off my list that don't really matter; and when you're honest about it, you find there are sooo many things we think we HAVE to do that we really don't.
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